


Line One (REUPLOAD)

by Boozey_St_John



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Phone Call, chreon, chris is a sneak, grandma ethel, leon suffers, reupload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 20:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30061395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boozey_St_John/pseuds/Boozey_St_John
Summary: Leon has a call on line one.(Formerly known as Happy Birthday Leon. There are no changes to the story other than one sentence and the title.)
Relationships: Chris Redfield/Leon S Kennedy
Kudos: 8





	Line One (REUPLOAD)

“Leon, you’ve got a call on line one.” Came Hunnigan’s voice through the intercom. The brunette sighed being distracted from his work. He needed to get his reports in by the following day or he’d be in serious trouble. Picking up the phone, he took a deep breath, controlling any attitude that hid in his voice. 

“Agent Kennedy speaking.” He greeted, eyes immediately going wide when he heard the voice: 

Chris’ Grandma Ethel.

“Hi, it's Ethel. How you doin’ today?” The elderly woman drawled. 

Leon grimaced. Knowing he was trapped in a conversation with the half senile old woman. He wasn’t known for his patience, and he silently prayed that he’d be able to keep it together, trying to be as respectful as he could. He cleared his throat. 

“Hi Ethel, what can I do for you today?” He answered. 

“I’m looking for my grandson. Is he there today?” Ethel asked sweetly. She loved to check up on him from time to time. 

“No, he doesn’t work here. He’s in another building. I can give you his office number if you’d like.” The agent quickly replied. He prayed that she would say ‘yes’ but he knew, just knew, that she wouldn’t. 

Ignoring the young man’s response, Ethel responded. “Oh. Well, can you pass the phone to him?” She asked, her mid-western accent becoming stronger. Holding his hand up to cover the phone, Leon sighed. Not this. Not now. 

“He’s not here.” The young man repeated. His grip tightening on the black telephone. 

“Well, what time does he come in?” The elderly woman questioned. 

“He doesn’t. He doesn’t work here. Chris is in another building, Ethel. I can give you his number if you’d life. I’m sorry but I’m very busy at the moment. I can’t talk.” Leon was nearly begging. 

His answer fell on deaf ears once again. 

Pulling out a bottle of whiskey and a cup he kept in his bottom drawer, he poured himself a shot. Quickly downing it and grimacing as it burned his chest. He always kept a bottle close by, in case of an emergency, like this. 

“Is he coming in for lunch later on?” She continued. “Because I’d really like to talk to him.” 

The brunette poured himself another drink, this time, nearly filling the cup to the brim. He gulped down as much as he could, hoping the old woman didn’t notice. 

“No! He doesn’t work here! He’s not coming in for lunch.” Leon emphasized. “I’ll have him call you later when he gets home.” He promised, trying his best to end the call. 

“But I’ll be busy later on. Can you put him on now?” Ethel asked once again. Her mind not comprehending what Leon was saying. The brunette gulped down the rest of the whiskey left in his cup and quickly poured another one. 

“I can’t put him on now if he’s not here!” He repeated again. His voice becoming a little louder, just in case she could him better. 

There was a silence on the phone, for a moment Leon rejoiced. The conversation was finally ending. That thought quickly vanishing when Ethel’s voice came back on. 

“I wanted to tell him that I’m doing better now since I’ve been taking those vitamins the doctor prescribed. I have to take ‘em cuz I’ve got old bones. But with the vitamins, I’m doing a lil’ better now. God bless the doctors, cuz without ‘em, I don’t know where I’d be.” Ethel preached, making Leon rest his head on his arm. 

“That's great, Ethel. It was nice talking to--” He was interrupted. 

“Yeah, I was having problems with my rectum because I’m getting older, as we all are...” 

He quietly sobbed into his arm, wondering if the light fixture would hold if he decided to hang himself. 

“...But the doctors, they fixed it up- they patched it up and now it seems that everything is working fine. I went to the bathroom this morning and everything came out okay. God bless the doctors.” 

“Well, good for you.” Leon was at a loss for words after hearing what the old woman said. “I have to go now.” 

“Hold on a minute! Just hold your horses if you could. I don’t feel like my question has been answered yet.” Ethel quickly protested. 

“Ethel.” Leon silently seethed. “He’s not here. He doesn’t work here. I will have him call you as soon as he gets home. I promise. Now I have to go. I have a lot of work to do. Nice chatting with you.” Before the old woman could say anymore, Leon disconnected the woman from the line. 

“Oh my god.” He panted in disbelief. Suddenly laughter roared out from the phone.

He knew that laugh: Chris fucking Redfield! 

“That was great!” Chris managed to say while hysterically laughing. He wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to take deep breaths to control his laughter but ultimately failing. The laughter continued. 

“I AM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU, REDFIELD!” Leon yelled into the phone. “DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!” 

Still completely hysterical, Chris managed to answer. “Jesus Christ, Leon. That was great...Oh, I love you.” He let out before quickly hanging up the phone. 

Growling with anger, Leon imagined the ways he’d able to murder his lover. The fact that he’d been on the phone, listening to poor Leon being tortured by his senile grandmother made his blood rush. 

His reports would have to wait. He’d take the shit. Pressing the intercom button on his phone, he paged Hunnigan. 

“I’m cutting out early. Something came up.” He disconnected his extension while grabbing his leather jacket. 

“That motherfucker!” 


End file.
